My program starts on Monday, but all the information is sent out constantly and my anxiety is just on the rise. I know I can do it, and the information is actually interesting. I just wear many hats at school, which at this point I am prioritizing what is important. I spent 8 hours today just working on school stuff and reading articles for my program. In my coaching, we are reading Onward by Elena Aguilar which I was hesitant at first to read-but I have already read 50 pages into it and find it valuable in the relationship with the Global Competence material I am reading.
The first chapter was Know Yourself, which is hilarious to me because every time around my birthday I become reflective on where I am at today, who I was yesterday, and what I want to do tomorrow. Reading the chapter is relevant to know who I am and am I living the life that I am meant to live. As I thought about my purpose, I really do enjoy the connections I have with my students. And I reminded of them when I see them out in the world, working, going to school, studying. I see them as citizens in society now, and not students and it is a wonderful feeling to see them grow-up. On Monday, my kiddo will be off to Japan, and he is a rare kid that has really watched me changed the past three years in my life. He is constantly concerned about me but is also a great listener-he really is like my kid. It was also nice to watch him mature these past few years and to see him off in the next journey of his life.
He reminds me that it is never too late to start something new. That making decisions are hard, and that you have to just trust that things will work out. It is all a part of growing up. Even though I am older and wiser- I feel like I have no idea where I am going. And I have to be okay with that. I know that I am in a good place now, and although I am anxious about what path will happen in my life- I am also taking the risks I never thought I would have done. I am more cautious, I am insecure in my heart, and I am working on the dreams I left behind a long time ago. And for me, that has to be enough. Every step I take has to be better than the one before.