And I am currently on week 2 and starting to get into a rhythm, but the hardest part of online learning is that I have lost people interaction, visual body cues if students get what is happening or not, and also control of behavior. On the very first day of my live session I had a student rude on a chat, and had a student tell me to stfu. My Google Meet link was bugged out where I could not mute or kick the student out, so I ended a live session early. I remained calm throughout, but in a classroom teachers can give the death stare and set a tone. In online learning, it is obvious I have not mastered that. My lessons have been bare minimum, it is still a challenge to learn math in general, especially for students who weren't so successful the first time. I take it slow, simple, online videos, document camera demonstrations, recording videos, and massive amount of emails! I make Google Docs where students can type answers in, highlight, and make Google Forms open-ended and/or multiple choice and checkboxes. I have done lessons with Nearpod because students ghost live sessions, and tried to use the Zoom. Problem with Zoom is that my work Chromebook is old- and thus cannot function with Zoom. But who buys better equipment during covid-19, let alone-for work? I do one-on-one Google Meets to answer questions, and I give feedback to work submitted. I call parents and leave messages, I email parents, and collaborate with a colleague on material. I have to do all of this in the paid hours of 8am to 2pm. And does it happen? NO. What is more of a struggle is accountability and reframing lesson design to meet students, I have never met before in person. And I researched every student to ensure accommodations, 504s, and ELs. All of this-for ONE CLASS of 35, down to 26 students.
I am tired. I want to give up. And I am trying. I did not want to teach summer school. But I was placed in this position because my original summer job was cancelled due to covid19. So here I am. I am grateful I have a job! If you have read my past blogs, I had a lot to deal with my parents and forcing retirement for my mom due to covid19. Overall, this summer school experience has been an exponential learning curve. I wonder how the school year is going to be and the depth of work involved. Because with all this work I am doing now, it is only one class of 26 students. Imagine doing this for 5 classes x 32 or so students. How can one teacher keep students accountable? How can we ensure everyone has internet access? How can teachers feel comfortable with (cheap) Chromebooks that are out of date. I currently work on 2 computers everyday (1) to do live sessions and (2) to monitor grading and chats. I literally sit all day, so I invested in a portable stand-up desk.
My dear colleagues who are teachers. It is true that we face a new reality when we go back to work. It is going to be hard. It is going to be frustrating, and unfortunately students are not going to get the same quality as students did before. I would not want to force a student to log onto every class for one hour each- it is draining. Overall, I am learning to adjust. This experience has been good for me, and I am doing the best I can. There are so many questions ahead, there are so many unknowns now, but all I can do is move forward. I can't wait for someone to tell me that we are going back, or we are doing moderate, or we are doing all virtual. Reality is, that the reality sucks.