In April, I had WASC, AVID Certification, and ILT final review in the same week. Along with math grades across the years for review and position that students are currently at. My key role players in my team are moving on to other positions, and as much as I thought I would be a few steps ahead, I just feel done with all of it. At least for the remaining month of the school year.
As these 180 days come close to an end, I believe the highlight of my year was my trip to Japan. It was what I needed in my life, even though choosing to go changed everything in my world. I assume what best fits my feeling would be this quote:
I had a great group of kiddos to watch over: Brandon, lone wolf, Angie, mum, Andrea, grim reaper-hawkeye-buzzkill, Antonio, thing 1, Krystal, thing 2, Richard, ninja, Ariana, couple. They were all so adorable and although they couldn't find me most of the time, they had a radar to seek me. Other highlights of the trip were karaoke times three, shopping for little things, conversations, and forming new bonds.
In this trip, I felt calm, troubled, and at peace. It was clarity for my soul, and it made me feel like I was ready to let go of who I was. I had always been thinking steps ahead with my type A personality, and I came to a point on the trip that if I didn't enjoy the now, then when would I ever enjoy it. Life is what you make it. It's the risks you take, the joys, the lows, heartbreak, new opportunities, distractions. It is all of it that makes life worth living.
Throughout the years, I lost myself. I had put someone else first, made plans to make things work, and consumed my time with trying to find the right time. But maybe there isn't a right time, maybe I was wrong. Maybe what I thought I wanted and needed, no longer fit the same person I am today. So as I was in Japan, I was able to find peace. I was able to see what the world could possibly provide. I was happy. And certain people on the trip helped me just see what potential there is.
For this trip, for my soul. I am better. I am relieved. I can just be.